Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Outfit # 40: Life Size Ghost

Plaid Shirt: Thrifted // Skirt: Wholesale-Dress.net // Boots: Thrifted // Unicorn Necklace c/o RUBY // Unicorn ring c/o Amelia Mays // "Unicorn poop" ring c/o Deastar

This outfit is from Sunday, aka the last day of Aki-con, hence the dark circles underneath my eyes. Last night I slept from 8pm to 12am, woke up for two hours, then went back to sleep until this morning when I woke up for work. I feel like a new person - I was SO EXHAUSTED YESTERDAY. Geeks know how to party. And destroy livers.

This skirt is from my massive order from wholesale-dress.net - don't worry, haul post is coming soon. I am pretty in love with it, except when it came it had these weird short things sewn into them that I couldn't fit up my fat thighs. So I cut them out and now it's 100% sheer, but I still love it. Silly Asian wholesale websites!

I feel like as I receive more and more jewelry, it just becomes like 65% unicorn and the rest is... not as important. This necklace is pretty much incredible and came in a HUGE care package from RUBY in Capetown, Africa. They sent me about 10 different necklaces and a TON of super uguuu~ kawaii lingerie. Seriously one of the nicest packages I have ever received from a sponsor ever. I almost cried ;_;

Oh, also! Want to win free leggings? Romwe is, as usual, having one of their epic giveaways, and you can enter it here. I own a bunch of stuff from Romwe and I have never been disappointed in their products.

The joint makeup channel I'm involved in posted a new makeup tutorial today: this time, Meagan and Tara teach you how to be Honey Boo Boo. It's hilarious, and the look is surprisingly wearable for a night out.

And the most amazing news of my day: My article on creepers creepin' on me in cosplay made it onto Think Progress. I... wow. I've been getting a lot of negative feedback (AND positive, but the negative stings), so to have my issues and voice be heard on such a large platform has all but flabbergasted me.

Monday, October 29, 2012

Convention Style: Pika Pi!

Pikachu Kigurumi c/o Cosplay Shopper // Boots: Thrifted // Pixel Glasses: eBay // Wig: eBay

This weekend I destroyed my liver and acted a general geeky fool at Washington's drunkest convention, Aki-con (aki means fall or autumn in Japanese). It's a tiny convention in Bellevue, WA that is held in a hotel - so you shit where you eat, basically. I got a hotel room with two of my favorite ladies in the entire world, and we drank and cosplayed for about three days straight. I have some hilarious photos that will end up on the blog eventually. We barely ventured outside of our hotel room - we just danced around to Girl Talk and acted silly. It was great.

I am a huge fan of kigurumi - it's like wearing pajamas!! I've had this Pikachu one for AGES and I've worn in a TON but I always forget to photograph it. It was sent to me by Cosplay Shopper, which has a great selection of kigurumi (of all animals and adorable levels!) and cosplay. I REALLY want the pink unicorn kigurumi.

Do any of you own kigurumis? I love seeing which ones people choose! Here's a bonus of myself and some of my ladies in their own kigarumis:

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Cosplay is not a Permission Slip: A Rant

It was a gorgeous sunny day in San Diego. The sun was shining, the birds were singing, and spandex clad superheroes paraded down the streets. A Dark Phoenix stumbled along, squinting in the brightness, fishing in her purse for the swag sunglasses she has received from Google the day before. Finding them, she shoved them onto her face and groaned, adjusting her skin tight costume.

That Dark Phoenix was me, and I was hungover on the last day of San Diego Comic Con, 2012. But, with perseverance pulled from the well springs of my intense geekery, I stumbled into the convention center and immediately prepared to pose as people approached me, cameras held out. I fiercely popped my hip, put on my best Dark Phoenix "smolder", and put up with many a hover hand as man after man did a thumbs up next to me as their friend snapped a picture.

I've been cosplaying for many years now, but it's only been over the last couple of years (coinciding with my acceptance of self as a sexual being - not feeling awkward in my skin anymore, essentially) that I have stopped wearing floor length robe cosplays and moved onto superheroines with costumes that are like a second skin. These were always the characters I wanted to cosplay, but as a socially awkward geek my entire life it took a lot of maturing in order to become comfortable enough with myself to embody these pinnacles of badass femininity. Characters that I had grown up with - characters that taught me to not take shit from anyone.

The first time I donned spandex, I cosplayed Knockout from the Female Furies. I will admit - I was not entirely comfortable as this character. She wears a leotard with a thong, but she is a complete badass who makes Superboy's knees weak and can punch the lights out of anyone. I say I wasn't comfortable - well, I wasn't comfortable until I donned the costume. The IDEA of wearing a thonged leotard was disconcerting - but as soon as I slipped into that costume and the paint of my face mask dried, I transformed. I became the embodiment of raw feminine power. I WAS this character, this intensely kick ass woman who had life by the balls. So what if I was wearing a thong? Knockout has a GREAT ass from all the butt kicking she does! YEAH!

I pranced out of that hotel room and into the convention hall (San Diego Comic Con 2011) feeling entirely empowered. "THIS is what cosplay is about!" I thought as I high stepped my way across the ugly carpet. As I clenched my fists and furrowed my brows for hoards of photographers. As I searched for a Superboy to kiss.

But then it began happening. A rogue camera flash from behind, a skeevy looking dude slinking off to the side, trying not to make eye contact with me. At first I was oblivious. But my "bag bitch", my dear friend Chris, started getting the sort of look that a mother bear would get if someone was messing with her cubs. He straightened to his full height and began to stand behind me, glowering at unknown forces behind my back. I continued to pose until my legs shook, aware of a growing issue - but I was uncertain what it was.

Finally, in a break of flashing bulbs, Chris informed me that all SORTS of guys had been snapping photos of my ass. While I had been posing for the wall of photographers in front of me, apparently I had also been posing for the ones behind me. He had positioned himself in the line of fire - and he had had men wildly gesturing for him to move. He actually had to put his hand over one man's lens who wouldn't take "no" for an answer.

Okay, look: I know I have a nice ass (thanks mom!). It's round and plump and I can shake it like Nicki Minaj if I want to. I went into the convention knowing I was displaying it for every mouth breather in the world to get an eyeful of. It's not my FAULT that the character that I love so much and wanted to portray was drawn as wearing a thong - that is not a decision I had a hand in.

But the fact that not one, not two, but DOZENS of men thought it was okay to covertly snap photographs of my ass? That does not sit well with me. That does not resonate well with me. That makes me uncomfortable. If a man approached me and said: "You have a nice posterior. Allow me to photograph it.", you know what I'd do? I'd pop my booty with a smile. But what gives people the right to line up behind me and snap photographs of my butt, unaware to me? To me, this is the sort of creepy that upskirt reddit forums tread upon.

After the convention, photographs of my butt started popping up on forums and weird aside tumblrs. "I'd slap that ass so hard", one anonymous man said.
"But that's my butt!" I thought, feeling violated and strange.

This year, standing in the entrance of the convention center as Dark Phoenix, destroyer of planets, I felt the familiar intense excitement of cosplaying a strong female character. Surely no one would be on ass snap missions for me in this costume, right? It has full coverage. And it was DARK PHOENIX. She'd fuck you right up with some telekenetic energy.

I excused myself from a group of photographers and began making my way into the dealer's hall, hoping to run into some friends I still hadn't seen on this last day of the convention. A man stopped me - he was fat, nervous, sweating profusely. He asked me if he could have a photo with him, and naturally I agreed. I am happy to let men pose with their childhood crush or personal fictional character hero.

He handed his camera off to his equally awkward friend, who fumbled with it for a moment as I doggedly held my stance - toe up, hip popped, hands clenching imaginary balls of pure crackling energy. The camera wasn't working, so it was handed back to the man at my side so he could fix it. As he pressed buttons randomly, the previous photographs popped up - and to my disdain, there was a photograph of my ass as I had been walking ahead of these two men.

I didn't say anything. I didn't do anything. A shot of adrenaline hit me like a freight train, but instead I stood there for a moment until the photograph was taken, the air thick with awkwardness. He thanked me, trembling, and ran off as quickly as his pudgy legs would allow.

I kept the costume on, refusing to let that one man ruin my day, but the feeling of empowerment was gone. I felt deflated and drained. I felt sad, and confused, and angry, and a whole mixture of nonsense emotions that didn't belong in a girl who was in her equivalent of Disneyland. I felt objectified.

It took me awhile to get angry. For someone who has been outspoken about the misogyny I have encountered in the geek subculture, this just seemed to go along with everything else I've always had to deal with. But then I started thinking about it more - why on earth WASN'T I angry? Why was I just shrugging this off as a "convention thing"?

Would I be okay with guys taking photos of my butt and then posting the photos online for other creepers to fap to if it had happened to me while I was waiting for the bus? At my day job? Waiting in line for a movie?

Several people have tried to make this argument to me: If you didn't want people photographing your butt, you shouldn't wear the costumes that you wear.

FUCK. THAT. That's like telling women not to wear short skirts if she doesn't want to be raped. These characters are drawn in very little clothing due to art direction and wanting to make sales - and I love them and want to portray them despite what they are drawn wearing. I don't want to be burka Wonder Woman - I want to be Wonder Woman in all her sexy hot pants glory.

We as a geek community have some of the most rampant sexism and misogyny I have ever seen. Women in cosplay are treated as pieces of meat, on display to satisfy a man's fantasy of that character. We are without personality or interests, and there's no way people will believe that we actually know ANYTHING about the character we're dressed up as (especially if we are hot). I don't know the reasons for this - I have theories, but that's for another time entirely. But the behavior I have witnessed over the years is abysmal. And it's not okay.

I know this argument is redundant - these are things that have been said a million times - these are things even I have said before! But if by writing about my negative experiences makes at least ONE person change their behavior, makes ONE person become aware of these issues, then I have done my job.

Outfit #39: Black Cat

Hi-Lo Blouse c/o Crash and Burn Apparel // Leggings: Old Riding Breeches // Boots: Thrifted // Purse: H&M // Cat Ring c/o I Love Crafty (Feline Fatale Collection) // Necklace and Earrings c/o BKouture // Hat: H&M // Sunglasses: ASOS

This is the closest thing I've worn to pants in ages! But they're not really pants - they're actually an old pair of riding britches from my horse riding days. Occasionally they still come in handy in outfits!

I'm really angry at myself today, actually. I have been trying really hard to watch what I eat and lose weight, because I am incredibly unhappy with my body - to the point where I feel my self esteem suffering. I work a desk job and I get zero excersise, but since I work full time by the time I'm finished at work all I want to do is go home and relax - I totally dropped the ball on my gym membership. I just kind of feel like a failure. I hate my body - literally, I HATE it - but I don't seem to stick to anything I do to try and change it. I've been eating really well lately, but last night I had Jack in the Box curly fries, jalapeno poppers, and a bunch of mini candy bars. I don't know why I do this to myself - it makes me happy for a minute and then I'm just miserable for a week.

Some days it's hard for me to even take photos, nonetheless post them on the internet, because I don't think I look the way I want myself to. I google things like "I'm pear shaped and I hate it" and I don't know what to do. I thought I would grow out of this self loathing of my body, but I'm closer to 24 than 23 and I still abhor my thighs and feel like I'll never look good enough to make myself happy. I look at photographs of myself when I was a teenager, riding horses and looking healthy and lean (and when I was modeling!), and I curse the 30 pounds I've gained in adulthood.

I have photographers poking at me, asking me to model for them, and I just keep making excuses because I don't want to be in front of a camera lens. What if I bend wrong and my fat rolls are evident? What if someone sees my cellulite? I envy all of my skinny friends and can't look at lookbook's main page because I get depressed. "I'm 5'10", why can't I be long legged and lithe, too? Why do I have to be squat and curvy?"

The worst part is that I know as soon as I start working out, the pounds will melt off. It's the way things happen with me. But I have NO IDEA HOW TO GET MOTIVATED. It's literally what I want more than anything - to be thin and in shape - but I can't seem to bring myself to do it. I don't understand why I am able to muster energy and passion for every other endeavor in my life, but not one that would make me happier than anything (not to mention help my modeling and cosplaying!)

Does anyone have any tips? Some days are worse than others, and I'm assuming today is just a bad day, but I'd still welcome any words of advice for motivation or losing weight when one is pear shaped (meaning I gain 100% of my weight in my hips, butt, and thighs).

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Outfit #38: The Truth is out There

Dress: UXCell.com // Shoes: Forever 21 // Jacket: Thrifted // Bunny Ear ring c/o Rings and Tings

My X-files mania is at an all time high right now. I've been watching about 3 episodes a night and I'm getting so intensely into the mythos. I'm still realizing so many things I never noticed when I was viewing it as a young'un. Also, Frank Spotnitz (writer for the X-files) is doing an AMA on Reddit right now! It's so interesting. 

I look really tired in these photos. Not sure why. STUPID GENETIC BLACK CIRCLES.

This dress is from one of those cheap Asian websites. I got this and one other for about 6 dollars each - both of them are way too short on my super tall stature, but I think if I layer skirts it will be alright. WHY CAN'T I BE BUILT ALL SMALL AND PETITE AND PRETTY?! *sob*

D&D tonight. After three weeks of not being able to play due to player absences, I'm so excited I'm trembling.

And oh, sorry for the lack of iPhone case pictures! I keep forgetting. I will pick back up with that ASAP, I promise! The current case I have on my iPhone is being really stubborn and I can't seem to get it off, but I don't want to break it. Aaargh.

Monday, October 22, 2012

Outfit #37: Live Every day like it's Shark Week

Shark tanktop c/o TeeTwice // Silver Maxi Skirt c/o Nordstrom Rack // Shoes: Forever 21 // Purse: Just Fabulous // Finger Armor: eBay // Belt: eBay // Sunglasses: ASOS // Leather Jacket: Forever21

Happy Monday, unicorns! This skirt has an amusing story behind it. A long number of months ago, Nordstrom Rack was opening a new location here in Seattle and reached out to me, asking if I wanted to come to their press and professionals opening. But of course! So I toddled off to it - they handed me a goodie bag with a 50 dollar gift card, lotion, primer... there was free food and booze being walked around by gorgeous men, and I managed to get myself quite tipsy. So while I was eyeing this delicious pair of turquoise Betsey Johnson pumps, I opted out of spending my gift card just then, as drunk Molly does not always make good shopping decisions (see: the druid head-dress I spent 50 dollars on at a renn faire when wasted on cider).

So I held on to that card for AGES - until a few weeks ago I went on a whim and scooped up this glorious skirt (and urban decay eyeshadow primer!) So this skirt has been a LONG TIME COMING. Beautiful flowy bitch.

Also, just received these sunglasses from ASOS and I am in love. Hnngg. With such a wide face, I have a hard time finding sunglasses that look awesome on me, but these ones are blowing my mind. AWESOME.

I have an anime convention (Aki-con) this coming weekend and I am not even a little bit prepared. I think I'm going to throw together a cosplay of Julia from Cowboy Bebop, using my Black Widow body suit. I just need to figure out how to make her weird thong belt thing...


Oh, and I'm on break.com today! With a photo that made the front page of Reddit ages ago! Things never die on the internet.

Friday, October 19, 2012

Friday Roundup 10/19: Romwe, Chicnova, and Press

Hello unicorns!

No outfit photos today, as I am not feeling too well and Daniel (my trusty photographer) is also sick so no photos this morning. I think I'm getting ANOTHER cold - I am not happy about this. I was supposed to have drinks with a dear friend tonight and now instead I'm going to curl up in bed and marathon X-files with Dan and Sushi. Lame.

A couple of quick things, though!

  • Romwe is having ANOTHER awesome giveaway:

  • Chicnova is running a popularity contest - essentially. However, if I win or place, I get free giveaway credit to give away to two lucky blog readers! Help me help you - vote for me.
  • The blog Pantyhose Party made a post about me. See it here. It's a cool blog that collects fashion photos of women wearing tights - a little fetishy, but as someone who wears tights or leggings of some sort every day it actually gives me a lot of inspiration.
  • I have spent the last three days obsessively watching the Great Dane puppy cam on explore.org. I watched her birth her first puppy yesterday and saw one stillborn this morning :-( But it's beautiful and great and I am excited to see the puppies grow up!
  • If you missed my announcement yesterday: I am now 1/6th of the makeup channel "OneUpMakeup" on YouTube. We have already filmed some awesome tutorials, so you should subscribe so you'll be the first ones to see our videos!

I hope you all have a lovely weekend, and I will try to be back on the outfit a day bandwagon ASAP. As soon as I drain all this mucus out of my head (ew gross I know).

Thursday, October 18, 2012


Oh my goodness, my unicorns. This is probably the most exciting announcement I am going to make all year.

I'm a geek. I've always been a geek and I always WILL be a geek. Along with this territory came the cliches: I used to be socially awkward, no self esteem, incapable of dressing myself with little to no knowledge of how to apply makeup. Thanks to a lot of self perseverance and a determination to prove the bullies wrong, I am where I am today. But not all girls have been as lucky as I am. There are still geeky women out there afraid to embrace their femininity and inner beauty - and there's where OneUpMakeup comes in.

OneUpMakeup is a group of six inspiring, creative, beautiful, geeky women - myself included. We have gathered together to create a makeup-centric YouTube channel that is an idea and a lifestyle just as much as it is a place to house our makeup tutorials. We aim to inspire other women to irrevocably embrace themselves - and feel good in the process.

The awesome ladies I am so lucky to be working with are as follow:

Tara Theoharis - You may remember this gorgeous, statue-esque creature from my "Geeky Fashionista" post on her a couple of weeks ago. She is a fellow blogger, domestic goddess extra-ordinaire, and one of the sweetest people I have ever met.

Mallory - She is a Disney princess embodied, a super talented makeup artist (she worked on the web series Job Hunters - which we have all been involved in in some way), and has the most infectious giggle of all time.

Kristina Horner - YouTube personality and wizard rocker, she's hilarious and inspiring. She has her own whacky brand of colorful style and is one of the most fun people to be around - ever.

Meagan Karimi-Naser: Actress and funny lady, Meagan makes me laugh so hard I can't breathe (which will certainly be reflected in our videos). She is going to be a leading indie movie star some day and we will all be able to tout that we knew her "back then".

Me. You all know me. Weird, recovering goth, cosplay obsessed, wears too much dark lipstick, ridiculously outspoken little ol' me.

And finally, Liz Leo - she is the mastermind that runs OneUpMakeup, the glue that holds us all together, the producer of Job Hunters, a talented graphic designer, loyal friend, and absolute sweetheart.

I'm so excited to be working with all these extraordinary women - they are all so strong and inspiring. I hope that you come and subscribe to us over at our YouTube channel, because I assure you - it's going to be a wild ride.

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Outfit #36: Stripes and Leopard Print

Skirt: Thrifted // Striped Top: Forever 21 (Thrifted) // Belt: Thrifted // Vest: Yard Sale // Leopard Print Wedges: Make Me Chic // Necklace c/o Jiglys // Hat: H&M // iPhone Case c/o Another Case

Seattle weather is being strange again - freezing at night and warm during the day. The rain is gone again. JUST GIVE ME MY DREARY WEATHER FOREVER, SEATTLE. IS THAT SO HARD.

I have been spending the day plotting how to catch a rabbit. My coworker and dear friend Liz has noticed an obviously scared and lost bunny in her back ally. He's too big, fluffy, and obviously an exotic breed to not be someone's pet that must have escaped. We called animal control, but they won't come catch him since he's not an immediate threat. So we are going to try and put a box over him tonight. Poor bunny!

Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Outfit #35: The TARDIS Jacket

Dress c/o Stitched and Adorned // Jacket: Thrifted // Shoes: Just Fabulous // Hat: H&M // Sunglasses: Thrifted // Belt: Thrifted

I call this jacket my "TARDIS Jacket", since it's TARDIS blue. It's not really bigger on the inside, though...

I really love the color orange (especially in the fall, obviously) but have a hard time wearing it since my main color palette for clothes is black, grey, more black, pink, and blues.  That's why when Stitched and Adorned asked me to choose a dress, I chose this one! I wanted to challenge myself. I expect you'll see me trying to style it a few different ways in the future, just because I sometimes like pushing myself out of my comfort zone.

I looked in the mirror this morning and realized in pure delight that my real hair is almost down to my shoulders again. I still feel weird without a wig, but I think that once I start figuring out how to style my real hair again it's going to make a re-appearance. I just felt (and still feel) so insecure about it once I chopped it all off on a hot summer day whim... I like having long pretty hair - I have no idea what possessed me to go short. I cried for like a week straight (but not the first day, because Dan told me I would and I was determined to prove him wrong. Ha!)

I'm placing a group order to Wholesale-Dress.net with Meg of Bowties are Cool and a few of my other friends this week - I'm very interested and excited to get it. I've been eyeing this website forever due to its insanely cheap prices, but the shipping has always been outrageous. But since we are ordering so much, we get free shipping - wahoo! I'll make sure to do a haul post once I receive the inevitably massive shipment.

Also I look really skinny in these photos. Hooray for angles?

'Til tomorrow, my lovely unicorns!

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